you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
