I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Randomize
