he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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