Grow some girl-balls and come out already
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
