She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
