Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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