Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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