i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
