i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
