Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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