I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
