He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
no, he came in my armpit
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
