Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
