I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
