i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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