yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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