Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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