If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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