my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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