So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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