well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
