It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
