Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
