Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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