saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Randomize
