Where did you get a picture of my penis
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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