the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
