I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Can I color on your dick again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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