a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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