I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
