my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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