honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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