we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
