I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Threesome in a minivan. New low
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
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