don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Piņatas plus fireworks don't mix well
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme