using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?