Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
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He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
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Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?