Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?