We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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