I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
