Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
