She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
We got so high we made milksteak
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Randomize
