her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
