Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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