If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
