he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
