I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
