If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
