I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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