i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
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Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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