Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
