It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize