so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
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