She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
