You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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