hell yes lets make some ravioli
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
