went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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