I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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