barbara walters just said penis...
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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