Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
