you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
last night I used snow as a chaser
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
