And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
