There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
