It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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