i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Randomize
