so that wasnt chicken after all
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
