i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Girls should come with a carfax report
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
