Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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